Listen to this!
Preflight Announcement
We do have seatbelts that aren't as dangerous as they looked. Insert into the flap and lift up the buckle to release. Lift up the buckle. They should be more like J. Lo's...Flowing across the hip...at anytime you are seated. You don't like our service? The flight gets too long? We have 6 emergency exits: 2 forward exit doors, 2 overwind window exits and 2 rear exits doors. Signs overhead, lights on the floor leads towards those exits. In your seats' back pockets, there's a beautifully illustrated multicolored safety information card. You may notice in our cards that in case of a water evacuation, we have hidden under each and every seat in our plane there's a beautiful yellow life-vest. Please only remove that vest when told to do so. To remove it, pull on the right tab on the container under your seat. Open up the container, Take out the pouch, take out the vest, put it over your head. Already you look beautifully fashionable. However, to extend it at your waist, wrap the black strap around and buckle it at your front. Once outside the aircraft, inflate the vest by blowing into the tube at your shoulder or by pulling down at the tab in front. Aircrew barbara coming to the cabin now to check that your seatbelts are fastened and your shoes match your outfit. Your seats are raised to their most uncomfortable - Full upright lock position. All your carry-on items are stuffed, cramped, shoved, pushed...smoshed all the way under the seat infront of you, leaving the area at your feet clear. This is again a non-whining, non-complaining, non-smoking flight. Smoking is never permitted onboard an aircraft. Law prohibits with tampering, disabling or destroying any aircraft lavatories smoke detector. By the way, aviation regulations require passengers' compliance with...and crew member instructions regarding seatbelts and smoking. Although we never anticipate a change in cabin pressure, should one occur, 4 beautiful golden encapsulated buttercup lookalike oxygen masks will magically appear from secret hidden compartments above your head. When that happens, immediately stop screaming, let go of your neighbor. Hold onto one until the plastic tubing is fully extended. Insert a quarter for every minute of oxygen. Although the back of your mask may not inflate, your neighbor's will, both of you will be receiving oxygen. You may secure the mask with the elastic strap. If you're travelling with anyone needing special assistance: Child, Untrained husbands, anyone not paying attention to us right now, make sure you secure your mask first. That's it for the news annoucement. Sit back, relax, or lean forward or twisted up...The choice is really yours. We're gonna be a little bit far, but we're scheduled for a leisurely 3 hours and 50 minutes all the way day to day from here to Chicago midway. Welcome aboard.
i have heard of the ingenius marketing strategy of this no-frills airline! i have anticipated it for so long finally get to hear it!!
No comments: